One Too Many Phallic Symbols?

In which the Elegant Bastard accomplishes what both the UN and the CIA have failed to achieve and retires from the scene with all appropriate humility.

Apparently Justin Beiber has a small monkey he likes to play with when he is far from home. Ah, boys and their toys. I think it nasty of the German authorities to deprive the boy of his monkey when he arrived with it in Munich. I mean really, what is the child to do between performances. Hopefully they were gentle when they took it away and will be just as gentle when they return it.

The little Bieber has not been the only young victim of recent monkey-related misfortune. I am of course thinking the similarly sad tale of Kim Yong Un – he of the perpetual Bad hair Day – who, it is rumoured, has no little monkey at all. Well no wonder the boy always seems so upset. Perhaps if we all chipped in together and got him one, he wouldn’t need to play with missiles any more?